Heal Me Sane
by ThyLurkingFear
Summary: Kim Kibum is a 20 year old that suffers from DID   Dissossiative Identity Disorder  .  diferent personalities within him and a kind Doctor being the only one willing to help .  will he be able to get a hold onto his sanity?   JongKey/2min/Taekey
1. Chapter 1: Mamma

**Heal Me Sane: _Mamma_**

"Kibum, having fun?"

"bet you are, look at all these great gifts!"

A dark haired teen sat in the middle of a group of adults, his smile fading as people continued to ask him the same question, over and over.

He wanted them to shup up, he wanted them to go away,he was tired of it all but daren't say a thing. That might upset his father, and he didn't want to do that. So he continued to answer all of their stupid annoying questions, his voice going lower and duller each time he answered, trying to be a good son so his mother would be proud of him.

Why didn't his mamma love him already? Weren't mothers supposed to love their sons, even if they were stupid, ugly, whiny and didn't do everything exactly perfect?

"Kibum! arent your parents nice for throwing you such a lovely party? I remember i didn't get a party at all, when I was turning 17 all i got was a 'happy birthday, boy' and that was it. Aren't you lucky, Kibum?"

"Iam" he strained, the words becoming harder and harder to push out. It wasn't as though he didn't want to do it anymore; it was like he simply couldn't. It was beecoming real hard for his lips to move, it was like they were stitched together tightly and his mouth was as dry as a raisin, at the next question, he didn't give a reply, it wimply wouldnt move.

"is something wrong,Kibum?"

"..."

"Kibum, answer!"

He wanted to say something, anythig...but he couldnt, he was dizzy now, it was like somebody had placed a hand over his mouthonly that, that person was inside of him, their nails digging into the inside flesh of his lips, holding them shut. He couldn't talk, he couldn't answer his mom, father was going to be so angry at him later!

and as he was starting to panic, his lips finally moved...

"i don't like it! Shut up already, leave me alone!"

He slapped a hand over his own mouth less than a second later, dark brown eyes widening as he looked up at all of the shocked adults. He saw his mother, her pretty brown eyes watering and glaring at him as she felt embarrassed infront of so many people.

he wanted to cry, how could he do this to her? she will never love him now, he opened his mouth with the intention of explaining his mother how sorry he was.

"Mom, wait, no, I"

Kibum felt this funny feeling in his pit of his stomach, and suddenly, his head began to spin, and he could feel his lips moving again, even though he knew that he wasn't moving them. This was scaring him, who was talking for him, why was this happening?

"I hate this party, you stupid cow!"

Gasping for air, Kibum stood up, watching silent tears drip down his mother's cheeks. He had upset her now...he was in for it later, once his father found out what happened, he'll never leave him live it down.

He was currently at work, but anyways, Kibum decided he should apologize and lock himself in his room until this all went away...until it all just went away.

Shoving past the group of adults, Kibum only trusted himself to say a hurried "Im sorry!" before he burst through the door to the house, marble floor tiles thudding under the weight of his feet. As he made his way up the stairs, he felt that feeling in his stomach again, and he wanted to throw up and cut himself open to get it out. He had to make it stop somehow, it didn't matter how, but he wanted it to stop.

"Father's gonna be mad, Father's gonna be mad, he's gonna be so, SO mad..."

"Who cares if daddy's mad? I sure don't, and you shouldn't either,heh...Kibum-ah~"

"Stop talking to me! Leave me alone!"

"Why, Bummie? I won't leave...is better if you are the one to leave"

"I cant leave! This is my body!"

"Its mine too, Bummie... I think you should leave. leave...kibum-ah~"

Kibum began crying, his breath hitching erratically as he ran all the way to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He grabbed the lamp on his nightstand, gripping it firmly in his hands and swinging it before dropping it on to the ground, shaking his head furiously.

"Bummie, you're not allowed to cry" he heard himself say. He could feel himself tugging on his hair, slapping his hands over his ears, shaking his head, and finally blacking out...only...that he wasn't blacking out, he was still awake.

it was a whole new feeling, as if he was no longer in control n only looking from far. he didnt care what mother or father thought anymore, he just wanted to hit something! to smash it as hard as he could.

Picking up the lamp once again, his ears perked up slightly as he heard a knocking on his door. It was his mother, back upstairs to have a...TALK with him.

"Bummie..." she said softly, almost innocent as she knocked on the door, her high-pitched voice quavering as though it was on the edge of tears. "Bummie, may i come in?"

"Of course, mamma..." he said, his voice shaking with excitement "come in"

There was the creaking sound of the bedspring as he stood up, the rustling of his designer clothing as he walked across the room, and finally the soft clicking of the doorknob as he opened the door for her.

His mother was standing outside, her back-length black hair slightly out-of-place. Kibum had never seen his mother's hair out of place. It was always in a tight high bun on the back of her head. Kibum thought it was so pretty and wondered why she never let it down, it was soft-looking and shiny, it made her small brown eyes look so pretty, her lips were so red and round and perfect. she was one of those persons that get prettier with age.

But now, Kibum wanted nothing more than to ruin that pretty face. He wanted to make it bleed, to hurt , to make his mother pay for not loving him, for controlling every aspect of his life with guilt, for pretending she didnt see what his father does to him...he hated her...

"Bummie, please explain to me, what's wrong with you today?"

Kibum didnt hesitate, he pulled the lamp out from behind his back with great force, slamming it against his mother's face, her high-pitched scream echoing throughout the house. There was a dull thud as her body hit the ground, she had fell to the floor probably shocked, her nose profusely bleeding, blood squirting out of her mouth probably having injured her teeth.

Not waiting nor hesitating for the slightest moment, he slammed the back of the lamp into her face again, continuously crushing her face until her screams and pleads became gargled and choked as she drowned on her own blood...until they finally stopped.

Dropping the blood-spattered decorative lamp to the floor, brown eyes glistening brightly and with excitement, Kibum felt warm, red liquid seeping through his clothes and tainting his skin but didn't mind it at all.

"Mamma~" he said, voice holding the childish tone he had when he was younger, full of innocence and no knowledge of the horrors of the world.

"Thanks...I had fun at my party..."

"Heebon? Heebon?"

Mrs. Han walked into the room, one of his mother's friends that had been invited to Kibum's party, apparently, she had either noticed Heebon had been missing or heard her screams.

Her eyes widened as she saw the hideous sight before her. Kibum giggling softly, snuggling up to his mother's unmoving body, her face smashed, broken and blood staining the both of them. The blood making splashed sporadic patterns on the wall, leaving some kind of eerie design.

"Call 119!" she shrieked loud enough for everybody downstairs to hear, also attracting the attention of the slim teen that had been fixated on his mother's body moments earlier.

He looked up at her but all she saw was a sickeningly sweet smile from him before she slammed the door shut and ran downstairs, going to make sure that the police was getting there soon.

A few minutes later, Kibum heard sirens and the loud thudding of footsteps as policemen barreled up the stairs to the bedroom.

however, he didnt care that they were there. They couldnt fix the problem, nobody could.

Even as they bursted into the room, all of them horrified at the disgusting sight and even more scared of the insane look in the bloody teen's eyes.

even as they dragged him to the back of the police car, all he could do was laugh.

...it didn't matter.


	2. Chapter 2: Dixmor Institution

-

Heal Me Sane: 'Dixmor Institution for the Criminally Insane'

"No, wait! please, let me go!" whined the young brunette man, voice high-pitched and eyes watering as he tugged at the straightjacket holding his arms in place.

"Please, I-I'll be good! I didn't mean to hurt her! mamma knows it! promise I'll never do it again, just...please mister, let me go! I-I'm scared"

"Shut up, crazy kid" muttered the driver sitting on the front seat behind a steel cage door, kind of like the ones you'll see in police cars to keep the policeman away from the dangerous criminals.

"im not crazy, you motherfucking bastard, gonna tear your face off if u keep calling me that!" the same young man said, brown eyes flashing dangerously as he yanked on the straightjacket, hissing at his captor.

"Now YOU shut the fuck up, let me out of this goddamn thing and maybe i'll consider leaving that fucking ugly face of yours untouched, alright?"

Kibum, now a twenty year old man, got no response from the other this time.

He angrily struggled against the confines that held him back, feeling the car beginning to move and briefly giving up on his intentions. It didnt appear as if he could stop these people from taking him away to some new mental institution.

Mental institutions for the criminally insane, they said that normal mental institutions simply did not have the resources needed to handle someone like him, he was too dangerous for a common mental insitution and too insane for a normal prison, so, it was off to some kind of new asylum, just because the fucking idiotic doctors at this one had given up on him.

Why wasn't anybody trying to help him anymore?

"Please..." he cried, beginning to hyperventilate slightly, flinging body back and forth trying to get air into his lungs, his hair going side to side over his face. "The jacket is too tight, cant breathe! I-It hurts! Make it stop!"

"i said SHUT UP!" the man said harsh and unforgiving.

He didnt exactly know but it felt like hours before they finally arrived at the new institution, Kibum's random outbursts always being interrupted by the man's harsh responses, the silence that followed being filled with either sobs or strings of muttered obscenities.

Didn't seem as if Kibum's normal personality was going to make an appearance anytime soon. He was much too stressed for anything for the like to happen, the straightjacket seeming too tight, his hair sticking to his damp face and cheeks.

He didn't want to be transfered, just to have more doctors that wouldnt give a crap about him, just to be abandoned to rot in a dark room all day then be moved to another crazy-house where the cycle would start all over again.

The van came to a stop and the driver calmly stepped out of it, Kibum got a good look at the size of his muscles and bulk,analyzing the chances of succesful scape, brown eyes fluttering quickly a few times as the driver opened the door and allowed the cold northern air to blow into the confined space.

he breathed deeply the fresh air allowed inside the cramped car almost with lust, it had been so long since he was let outside, Kibum managed to calm down, tear stains on his cheeks quickly fading and melting back into the pale sick color the rest of his cheeks was.

"Thanks" he said softly, voice calm and regular as his eyes surveyed his new home, blinking a few times. the gate keeper decided to open the huge iron gate and they went through it, leaving them effectively trapped inside when it shut behind their back.

"Let's go" the man said gruffly, rushing Kibum towards the creepy old stone building that was quite church-like in design, towers spiraling to the sky and windows with bars on them, making creepy shadows on to the almost dead lawn.

Kibum stared at the rusted iron plaque that said "Dixmor Institution for the Criminally Insane" before he was shoved through the front door, his hair falling over his face hidding his humiliation as he saw some nurses gossiping while staring at him.

He hated how he was always pushed around like this, led like he was some kind of animal that couldn't figure out where to go for itself.

"I can walk you know" he said quietly, stumbling along as he was shoved again.

" yah! stop it stupid- "

"Shut it"

"im sick of you telling me to shut up!" he growled angrily, turning around with a look that spelled out death for the next to mess with him. "Why don't you shut the fuck up, you fucking arrogant idiot! Dont you dare tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing, araso!"

"that's it! im done of your talking back! " the man said, grabbing on to the straps of Kibum's straightjacket and pulling them tighter, choking the young man.

"Aaghhh!" he shrieked, his childish voice taking over again, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. "Dont! Please, Stop it! It hurts!"

"Mr. Kwon! please refrain yourself from handling my patient so roughly!" a bleached blond haired man said harshly, rushing up to the two of them, pulling the crying Kibum away from the driver.

"Mr. Kwon, you may leave now, im sure you'll receive a bonus for delivering the patient successfully"

Kibum looked at his newfound savior, his eyes still dripping helplessly. The blond man must have only been a year or two older than him but he might be wrong, he looked shorter than him after all. Why the hell would he want to work at a mental hospital for criminals, Kibum had no clue, but he didnt care at the moment. The most childish of his personalities was showing now, and he liked this man he seemed...nice.

"Are you my doctor?" he asked softly, watching as Mr. Kwon walked off, turning to the blond guy a moment later.

"will you help me?"

Not answering him, the blond man smiled at him. pulled out a clipboard, turned on his heel and began to walk, his left hand gesturing for Kibum to follow him when he decided that his newfound patient wasnt in a foul mood.

"What does my patient calls himself?" he asked, turning the first page on his clipboard, Kibum could see him placing the tip of his pen lightly on the line that read 'name'

"You mean...my name?" his statement was followed by a nod.

"mamma calls me Bummie" he said softly, stumbling along clumsily, his straightjacket was making his walking abilities worse.

"Are you going to fix me?"

"Bummie, could I talk to Kibum?"

"Who's Kibum?"

"I know Kibum is in there, Bummie. Would you please allow me to talk to him for a second?"

"I said I dont know what the fuck you're talking about" the brunette deadpanned, stopping straight in his tracks, simply standing in the middle of the hallway. "tch! stupid fucking doctor, do I look like more than one person to you? Im one fucking person, im not sick, lemme out of here"

"Bummie?" the doctor questioned, cocking his head and taking a few steps forward, looking at the other man with a new interest.

"Dont fucking call me that!" the brunette growled, struggling desperately to get out of his straightjacket and attempt to attack the man, however, to no avail, the jacket refused to rip "dont call me that, you dont know me, you stupid ass!"

"Then what should i call you?" he asked, blinking a few times, passing his fingers through his bleached hair.

"is Key, you goddamn idiot, shut up already!"

the doctor's eyes focused completely on the clipboard, and he was rapidly scribbling down information on different pages that were on his clipboard. He didnt seem intimidated by Kibum at all, it was as though he automatically assumed that the man wouldnt be able to touch him, even if they were less than 5 feet apart. 5 feet apart from a man that others had declared 'too far gone to help' and 'so mentally unstable, there was no chance he could be CURED'.

After a few minutes of calm silence, nothing but the scratching noise of a pencil or rustling as the doctor's coat whispered, Kibum managed to get himself back under control. He looked up, face sweaty and skin sticky under the heat of the straightjacket.

He wanted to be cured...he hoped that this (very relaxed) doctor could help.

"im sorry" Kibum suddenly said, voice filled with sincere want to be forgiven. "didnt meant to swear at you like that, working on it, i-"

"relax, you got no need to apologize" the doctor said, his sweet voice like music to Kibum's ears. "i know what is happening to you, Key, and i—"

"Please, dont call me Key" he interrupted, cringing each time the doctor used his name. "my name is Kibum...please dont ever call me Key"

"ah~"

He watched as the doctor scribbled more on the first paper, and then began to make his way down the corridor, silently moving his hand once again for Kibum to follow him. The brunette did, eyes occasionally flickering to the walls and ceiling of his new home. The building was dark and gloomy, not the kind of place to be a 'healing' environment at all. It looked more like the kind of place you would lock prisoners of war, the flickering lightbulbs and the alcohol-smelling carpet driving Kibum insane already.

"We got a room prepared for you" the man said smiling at him, turning another corner, still madly scribbling away as though he had just thought of a brilliant idea and could forget it any minute "has a single bed and you'll have no roommates, Kibum"

"you can call me Bummie!" the brunette insisted, now stumbling once again in a desperate attempt to catch up to the short doctor. "call me Bummie!"

"deh, sorry, Bummie-ah" the doctor said lightly, brown eyes flickering to him for the briefest of moments before turning back to his clipboard.

"i still think you'll enjoy your room, you got one all for yourself, did you had your own room back at your house, Bummie?"

"i had my own room" he said happily, biting his lip and frowning a moment later.

"i don't like it."

"Why not?"

"i dont want to say! Leave me alone!" the brunette whined, flinching his eyes shut, shaking his head madly. He tried to sit down in the middle of the hallway, a few tears dripping down his face as he quivered and buried his head in his knees, he wanted to bring his hands to his face, hide himself from the world, but the tight fabric that kept his hands bound and hidden would not allow that.

"sorry, Bummie" the doctor said sincerely.

"Would you like to know my name, since i know yours?"

The brunette nodded, looking up at the doctor with hopeful eyes.

"im Jonghyun" he said softly, brushing a few locks of hair out of the brunette's sweaty face, noticing how red it was.

'he might be overheating', so jonghyun figured it would be best to get him changed while he was calm like this. " now, would you like to see your room? its on the fourth floor...you got a neighbor- "

" i want " Kibum pouted, sticking his lower lip out, shaking his head once again. " i want to go back to MY house and live with MY mamma, and have MY old neighbors!"

" im sorry, Bummie, but we cant take you back until you get better" whispered the doctor, beginning to stroke Kibum's chocolate-brown hair away from his face, occasionally running his fingers softly through it.

" but if you cooperates, we can get you home very, very soon, ok?"

The brunette nodded, his eyes still affixed on the metal buckles on his heavy-duty straightjacket.

" im tired" he whispered, blinking slowly a few times. " can i go to sleep?"

" sure thing" jonghyun said, helping him stand up, being miraculously strong for a man of his...short size.

the brunette followed the blond doctor up the stairs, listening to the soft creaking of wood underneath his own feet, eyes widening as he began a rapid-fire recollection of flashbacks.

-

He was lying on his bed, the stairs were creaking as his father walked up them...he could tell by his staggered steps that he was drunk again, a bad sign for the young Kibum...

"Call the 119!"

"Bummie, you better not scream this time..."

-

Kibum suddenly let out a shriek, falling to his knees, a gurgling sound forming in the back of his throat as he continued to helplessly scream. His chest tightening, his face felt like hot needles were being stabbed into every available inch of flesh, and his head spun like never before.

"Kibum?" he heard a voice say and was suddenly snapped back to reality.

" i-i c-cant breathe!" he said weakly, hyperventilating inside of the thick straightjacket "Take it off, take it off, take it off"

"Bummie, please, calm down" the voice said.

the brunette could feel the straps on his straightjacket being loosened, and the thick material being slid off of his convulsing frame.

" dont fucking touch me!" the brunette screamed, his body continuing to spasm as he attempted to squirm away. " i-i , dont, dont touch me—!"

"Key!" the voice said, Key suddenly realizing it to be Jonghyun's voice "Hold still, please."

The brunette did as he was told, continuing to softly hyperventilate, his eyes closed tightly as his hands clenched themselves into fists. His straightjacket was set on the floor next to him, and as he slowly cracked his dark brown eyes open, he realized that the only person around was Jonghyun...

Where was everybody in this place?

" help..." he whispered desperately, looking at Jonghyun with large eyes, calming himself down and attempting to stop his panic attack.

" please, help me..."

" i'll help you, Kibum, breathe, i'll do" he assured the younger man his tanned, strong hand grasping the brunette's own, as if trying to help him hold on to the small fraction of sanity he had left.

after all, it was all he could do right now.

-


	3. Chapter 3: new friends

-

Heal Me Sane: new friends

"have you come to a diagnosis for the new acquisition?" asked a young doctor with light-brown disheveled hair, jonghyun after a minute of thinking nodded.

the blond man placed his clipboard down on the desk for his hyung to see, a young doctor named Chang sun, he was only older than him by a year and everyone called him 'Joon' since there where 3 other doctors with his same name, the father of his stepfather had founded the mental institution, so he and his brother Ji Hoon had pretty much a say in everything going on inside the place.

"he suffers from a very severe case of DID...or MPD, whichever you prefer to call it. i had my doubts since that sickness is extremely rare, less than one-hundred official cases diagnosed, but it really seems to be the case with him. i think Kibum has three distinct personalities, maybe even more that i dont know about, but im sure of three of them for now" he took a deep breath and sighed

"One is, Kim Kibum, a normal adult that really wishes to be cured, i assume is the original one. The second is it of a young kid of no more than 10 years, Kibum has apparently named it 'Bummie', it probably yearns for love and acceptance that he lacked of when a kid. The third personality has called itself 'key', This is the most dangerous since it appears to be explosive and violent, until now, it has only sworn and displayed notions of violence, but this kind of personality will only get worse and worse the longer we leave it unattended"

"I see" Joon mulled, looking over the notes Jonghyun had collected. "jonghyun, his personalities seem to be changing so quick from one to another..."

"I think its because of the stress of switching homes, you know how patients get when this kind of thing happens" he shrugged, taking his clipboard back from the other doctor.

"The more stress Kibum is expossed to, the more probable it is for him to switch between personalities.

This explains why are they simply switching in seconds, all judging even on the tiniest of moments in front of him changes his behavior so he can deal with it"

"So you're saying that he must be kept close eye on?"

"yes, hyung"

"Where is he now?"

"up in his room, He was calm when he agreed to be strapped down to his bed"

"can i ask something of you before you go?"

"Deh"

"What ever caused these...personalities to emerge, is usually the result of trauma or some kind of even more serious disorder, isnt it?

you must figure out what it is, ok?"

"that's what im planning on doing, i really want to help him, you should have seen his face when he asked for help, it broke my heart to see him like that"

" go on, just dont get too attached "

" i wont, hyung"

-

Kibum lay tied to his bed, his face looking as if still on deep sleep he could feel his joints hurt from the possition he was in.  
>Jonghyun came inside the room bringing breakfast with him, he placed the metal tray on the nearby table and saw Kibum wasn't up yet, his breathing regular and back resting on his back, he considered rousing the sleeping man for a moment but decided against it, his new patient had only arrived the day before and didnt seem like he had a good night sleep, so, he just set out a plain pair of pale green clothing on the chair next to the bed for when Kibum woke up.<p>

He would probably have to help him change and shower if 'Bummie' decided to appear, but he could worry about that later when his patient got up.

"hmmm..."

his brown eyes flickered over to his patient as he watched his eyelids rapidly flutter a few times before he started thrashing his body on the bed despite the restraints that held him tightly in place.

"w-wait, no! A-ahh!"

Jonghyun's eyes widened slightly, kibum wasn't fully conscious yet but was screaming as if someone was hurting him… a memory perhaps?

He took out his clipboard and pen and sat down on the chair he had set the clothes down before. He felt bad for not waking him up from that nightmare, but he had to discover how it had all started, he had to watch him suffer for a while to help him better.

"Please stop…!"

With guilt on his heart, Jonghyun watched him convulse, moan and plea to someone to make his torture stop.

It took almost 15 minutes for him to stop, the silence came and a few seconds later the brunette man blinked his eyes open to see a stranger sitting on a chair in his bedroom, a clipboard in hand, eyes fixed on him, his with a strange expression on his face as if he was watching kitties being burned alive.

"Who are you?" he asked weakly, his voice cracking as he pulled the restraints on his bed. "What's this? This…is not my room…"

Jonghyun's face changed to one of wonder when he heard Kibum's words "Memory loss…" muttered the man, scrawling something more on his clipboard.

"Hi, do you know your name and age?" He stood up but kept distance from kibum and smiled as if not to scare him

"huh?" muttered Kibum, his voice confused as he tried to sit up, being foiled by the chains and straps.

"Do you remember your basic facts? Like your name, age, where do you live, your birthday and today's date?"

"Kim Kibum...twenty … Rutledge Asylum…ahh….September 23th… I have no idea what day is today, I don't even know where am I …did you took me out of my room because I'm getting better?"

"your room?"

"I was in the padded room…with a straightjacket? Are you a new doctor?"

"What is the last thing you remember, Kibum?" jonghyun asked without taking his eyes off him as he continued to scrawl notes on to the paper in his messy handwriting.

"I banged my head on the wall and screamed for somebody to let me out of that room…it was hard to breath, there were no windows…only white cushion, did you take me out?" Kibum asked desperately with a yearning look on his face, pleading to know what was going on and where he was.

"P-please, I cant remember anything, this happens all the time, the nurses know about it!"

"you were transferred yesterday, kibum, this is your new room" jonghyun said kindly, observing his every reaction as he stood up and slowly made his way over to his patient's bed.

"we are at the Dixmor asylum, we also have padded rooms here, would you like me to get you one of those better?"

"Let me go, you fucking idiot!" he blurted in response, yanking on the restraints, hissing in pain as his wrists and legs were sharply tugged back down on to the bed.

"Can't do, key"

"Let me go! Im not insane, Im not a criminal!" he repeated, his voice changing from anger and rising to a note of desperation.

"Let's make a deal then" muttered Jonghyun "if you calm down and eat your breakfast, I'll have you released, ok?"

"I dont EAT fucking breakfast, makes me puke" he hissed back, as if saying it as spitefully and childishly as he did was somehow some sort of revenge on Jonghyun and breakfast in general.

"Then I guess you don't really want to be released" He said and sighed as if he had no more options left, the sarcasm and curtness of his voice as he mocked him, was getting on Key's last nerve…but he did wanted to get out of the room, even if it meant he had to eat the disgusting hospital's food…but he wasn't willing to let his pride loose to this stupid doctor.

Key laid in silence for a second, the musty smell of the furniture, the green ugly curtains over the barred windows, the creaking of the floor with every step Jonghyun took when he moved...it was all slowly driving him crazy…he just couldn't take it anymore, He wanted to get out.

"I'll be good!" he suddenly pleaded, catching Jonghyun's attention making the doctor to turn around, the bleached blond doctor immediately recognized the tone of 'Bummie'.

"please let me out! I want to eat breakfast with everybody else, I'll be good boy!"

"you promise me that you'll behave?"

"Deh, Bummie promise Jong-Jong!"

"well, I guess i can let you out for a while then" the doctor smiled brightly at him, walking back over to the bed and undoing the straps that held the brunette down " but I fear I have to give you a shot before you leave, Is that okay with you, Bummie?"

"NO! No shots!" he protested, trying to worm his way out of the bindings, wanting to run downstairs and have breakfast "I-im scared"

" it'll be just a small poke, It doesnt hurt a thing, Do you not trust me, Bummie?"

"i…trust Jong-Jong."

The doctor smiled apologetically, pulled a small plastic syringe from his pocket as well as a small bottle full of a translucid liquid, probably a light tranquilizer.

Jonghyun filled the syringe with it, It wasn't made to knock out the patient completely, it was used as a stabilizer to keep patients, fond of going off on wild harangues frequently, stable.

"It wont hurt?" he whimpered, tensing up as the doctor grabbed his forearm "Y-you only promised me a poke, m-make sure it wont hurt"

"Is already over, Bummie, we are done" the blonde doctor said sweetly, throwing the syringe and small bottle inside a small fabric tissue.

"y-you're done?" his voice shaking as he opened his eyes, a bit of blood dripping out of the tiny prick-hole on his arm. "C-can you put a band-aid on it?"

"Sure thing, kiddo" Jonghyun said softly, passing wet cotton over the wound and pasting a Scooby-doo band-aid on it "wants me to take you to breakfast, Bummie?"

Bummie nodded enthusiastically, getting out of bed and standing next to the rusty bed as Jonghyun released him from the belts holding him to the bed.

He wrung his left hand out, nervously biting his lip as his bright brown eyes scanned the doctor.

"Can we hold hands?" he asked nervously, his lip quivering as he stuck his hand out. Jonghyun blinked looking shocked for a moment, Bummie considered withdrawing his hand but jonghyun had extended his own strong hand before he could move, a cute smile bloomed on to his pale face.

Bummie happily took a few steps forward, wrapping his bonny fingers around Jonghyung'smuch stronger and healthy ones. The doctor looked iffy about holding hands but quickly ignored it…he had never had someone that desired his affection…as much as this kid seemed to do, it certainly was a totally new feeling…and he liked it…

He didn't know if this was a good or bad thing…it would let him get to one of Kibum's personalities, possibly the most important one since it was obvious 'Bummie' was some sort of projection of the childhood he never had, he was the most likely to be the one able to bring him back to the time when the sickness could have started.

"What's for breakfast?" Bummie asked innocently, clinging to Jonghyun's arm, looking at him with the excitement only a child could have from being with his parents.

"I honestly got no idea" the blonde doctor said playfully, leading Bummie down to the stairs into the common area "but we can always go and see, right?"

"Y-yeah!"

Bummie and Jonghyun were about to reach the cafeteria when the blonde spoke again, it was hard to talk about the subject, but they'll have to discuss it someday  
>"Do you get a lot of memory breaks?"<p>

"Yes…" the brunette's voice changed and let go of jonghyun's arm to hold a hand to his head, flexing the muscles of his sore neck.  
>" I tend to forget a lot, I can be talking to someone then I blink and it's all gone, I wont remember I was even talking, im always somewhere else, but the first time it happened…or at least when I noticed it happened, I was there, I was watching everything but couldn't control myself, as if I was someone else, you get it?<br>…god I really do sound insane"

"haha, no, I totally get what you are getting at" Jonghyun smiled brightly as the two of them arrived to the white door with the grey sign on top that read 'CAFETERIA'  
>"can I ask you something, kibum?" jonghyun asked and the brunette nooded his head.<p>

"do you wanna be cured?" he asked slowly letting his arms lie limply by his side.

"I do" he quickly said, eyes widening " if there's anything I can do to help…I hate having this, i can't have any friends, not even other patients, They're all scared of me because im dangerous... is just…so lonely to be like this"

A look of sympathy flashed through the jonghyung's brown eyes as nodded, silently agreeing with what kibum had said, jonghyun led his patient inside the cafeteria.

There where around 12 other patients there, some laughing loudly, others staring blankly into nothingness as if the meaning of the universe was revealing itself to them, and some giving glares to everyone who dared look at them.

However, only a man stuck out to the brunette, He was sitting at a couch at the end of the cafeteria looking boredly to a rubik cube, a cute looking guy with long light brown hair hanging slightly shaggily over past his shoulders, Kibum decided that would sit next to him…he looked interesting.

"hi…" he said, sitting down next to the young man, blinking a few times as he was completely ignored "humm… you have a name?" he tried again.

"Everyone has a name, dimwit" he said coldly, finally looking up and seeing who he was talking to "mine's Taemin and your's must be fagtard"

Kibum felt that same disgusting feeling in the pit of his stomach and then saw the world through new eyes, brown eyes laced with hatred, filled with lust and their want for revenge.

"Oh, so you're a smartass, huh?" he asked, narrowing his eyes, his fist clenching on the table "you look more of a girl than a man should, are you sure you got a dick? I wouldn't be surprised to see you prancing through yellow flowers on a pink dress"

"I might as well be woman-like n my name be fucking Betty boop but you're oh so desperately looking to fill you hole with anything on hand, is kind of lame"

"Oh, so the kid can spell too now, how cute, how old are you, 12?"

"shut up" Taemin's face flushed in anger, he hated being called a kid, he was 18! For fucks sake.

"…I'm Key" the brunette purred, brown eyes flickering across the cute man, he liked his attitude, everyone else in here were either incapable of speech or plain boring and depressed…

But it seemed like Taemin still had some fight left in him.  
>Key officially liked the kid.<p>

"what kind of name is that?"

"A good one, idiot, Better than Taemin"

"fuck off"

Key watched as the other man urged some of his too-long bangs out of his eyes with the flick of his head. It seemed that they had won each other's attention now and as Taemin scanned him from top to bottom looking approvingly at him, Key felt a slight sense of joy in his stomach, He had managed to capture this gorgeous man's attention.

It was clear that this young man meant trouble, just the kind of people Key liked to hang with.

"Horrible fact they wont let us out of their sight" muttered Taemin as he brought his eyes back towards key's "geez, even fucking showers like in prison would be fine…I used to be there, they sent me here because they thought Im friken crazy"

"Why do you wanna get out of their sight?" key asked confused

"Because…" Taemin's lips came closer to Key's ear "it'd be nice to have you pounding up my ass, that's why"

"woooah, stop there pal, I'm not a fag!" Tried to get away from taemin's side and to the farthest side of the couch.

"oh please, and you were SO discreet with the way you ogled your doctor, yeap, no doubt on you being straight" Taemin giggled, the smile dripping right off of his face moments later "I'm not a stupid, don't dare treat me like one, You radiate gay like a fucking mini-sun…a shinny gay colorful sun"

"I wasn't ogling" key said "I was…I just wasn't ogling, ok?"

"well, that's good then, cuz you haven't got a chance in hell with him, doctor knows how messed-up you are, he only pays attention to you because he's getting paid to do so, do you really think he likes dealing with loony criminals?"

"What are you in here for, anyways?" Key interrupted him trying to change the subject as he ran his finger around the colorful rubik block, turning a little red piece from place.

"I'm in here because I killed my boyfriend's best friend, we used to work together at Wal-Mart…fucking raped me on the broom's closet and denied it later, making my boyfriend break with me. I couldn't let the bastard go like he hadn't done a thing, so, I bought a gun and shot the motherfucking bastard until his brains were the only wall decorations, it was really pretty actually" he laughed, grabbing his cube from key's hands, rotating another colorful plastic piece"stupid shit! Have been working on it for months and I keep getting it wrong!" he got frustrated and throwed it away hitting the tile ground a few feet away.  
>"and You?"<p>

"When I was 17, I killed my mother, bashed her face in with a lamp until no one could recognize the fucking bitch"

"So, you're on deep shit huh? Man…and I thought i had no chance to get out"

Key nooded his head, eyes squinting slightly…

Does anybody really expects to get out of here? They weren't going to be let out, their families had probably photo shopped them out of family portraits and probably even denied of ever having ever met them.

Taemin got up and kicked the couch "This place is crap, I've been here for round a year now…have they been keeping you locked in your room or you just got here?"

"I just fucking got here" Key narrowed his eyes once again. "I was on the other asylum for years but apparently im too far to be helped. Like, what the fuck is up with that? You're not supposed to give up on patients!"

key suddenly stood up, Jonghyun, who had been sitting across the room watching their conversation, noticed.

"Kibum, what's going on? Is something wrong?" He having stood up and walked over to the two of them, wondering why the tranquilizer hadn't taken much effect on him.

It should have kept him quiet and sedated, in his normal 'Kibum' personality, but it didn't appear to be working.

"My name isn't fucking Kibum!" he growled and clenched the fabric of the doctor's white coat in his fist.

"im Key!"

"Already forgot his name, Jonghyun?" Taemin mocked him as key shoved the doctor against the ping-pong table, his brown eyes narrowed drastically  
>"That's so not ok…are you getting old, perhaps?"<p>

"K-Key, calm down, please"

"Dont tell me what to fucking do!" he shrieked, his cheeks read from rage "I swear I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"aw, fun is over" muttered the cute man, watching as the security guards came rushing in and grabbed the brunette, his pupils suddenly dilating as he was beginning to be dragged away.

"NO! Mamma, help!" he sobbed, many of the patients turned to look at the crying man apathetically as he was stabbed im the arm with a syringe, a strong tranquilizer being roughly injected into him.

The only one besides Key with emotions clear shown on his face was Jonghyun, and the short man looked scared shitless and slightly pitying.

The blond doctor passed his fingers over the red bruises that Key had left on his neck from attempting to choke him…

It was only then he realized that if he was truly going to help Kibum, he would have to make a commitment.

A serious one.

-


	4. Chapter 4: first therapy

-

Heal Me Sane: first therapy

"Kibum" whispered Jonghyun brushing the man's dark hair out of his sleeping face.  
>"wakey wake~, time for your meds... "<p>

"im not sleeping" he said with hoarse voice, brown eyes slowly fluttering open. "You cant just keep me drugged anymore...I need your help..."

"Kibum, I know something happened to you, that is why this is happening to you, what happened to you? ...was it when you where a child...or later on?" the doctor insisted, undoing the bindings that held the brunette's hands in place.

"People with your same...condition...usually has had some sort of trauma during their childhood, could you tell me? I really need to know in order to help you"

"I-I cant!" the brunette whimpered with a childlike tone "Don't make me say it! Nothing happened, nothing happened!"

"Did your mom or dad ever hit you? Has someone close to you ever done something bad to you?"

The doctor asked, he had promised to help kibum...and this was the only way to get to the root of the problem, like it or not, it was time to pry deeper into Kibum's mind.

Being one of the first doctors certified to work and treat patients with multiple personalities on this country, his pride, reputation and maybe even his work where in danger.

Jonghyun had seen so much in his short life...so many cases and met so many patients that could cause in him a need-to-help them... but even when he had tried, none of them would get better since they didn't noticed the problem or just simply refused to be helped... he couldn't help them...

And even when he wanted to help them, none of them had ever moved him or caused that much pity on him as Kibum had, he was conscious of his problem...or at least one of his personalities was, he really wanted to be normal again and be able to function on society, with him... he finally felt the burning desire to help a patient no matter what it could cost him...

it wasn't until then that he finally understood what the other doctor's meant when they spoke of the 'overwhelming feeling' they got when they looked at a terminal patient.

"Leave me alone! Wont make me tell, cant make me tell!" cried the childish patient, his now innocent and widened brown eyes brimming with tears, it was as though each of Jonghyun's words were causing him a physical pain, his breathing hitched erratically and his body gave a weak spasms before it suddenly relaxed, same thing happened again and again.

Jonghyun considered injecting him a bit of tranquilizer, but he knew that it wasn't good to get in the habit of that, it could cause more damage later on and Kibum might not be able to function without it anymore... he was not going to take that chance.

"Did you saw something you shouldn't have?"

"Aaah! Don't talk to me, I didn't saw, I didn't! Bummie is a good boy!" tears were freely streaming down his face by now, his face turning red as he let out scream after scream "wont tell, wont tell!"

"So you did saw something...was it your mommy's fault? Your daddy's?"

"noooo! Quiet! STOP TALKING!" Bummie yanked at the chains and straps that kept him restrained to the bed "Leave me alone! Wont tell, wont tell, wont tell! AAAHHH!"

"I sorry, Bummie, I'll stop" whispered, the doctor seeing in how much pain Kibum was, he took a few steps towards the bed, softly brushed the crying man's hair out of his damp face "im sorry, bummie, but I must help him...I'm only doing this for Kibum's own good... If this therapy does not work... there are others we can try, don't you care for Kibum?"

"Bummie doesn't need therapy! Bummie is not wrong! Kibum needs Bummie!" he whimpered loudly, looking up at Jonghyun with tear-stained eyes.

"I'm not crazy! Nobody...nobody likes crazy people! I'm not! I have friends! CheolYong is my friend! he's my friend! I also have Amber and CheonDoong!"

Jonghyun looked at the brunette pitifully, wondering how muddled and confused his memories were, this was going to be a difficult case...

"How about a nap? You look like you could use some sleep"

Jonghyun asked, gently running his fingers through the Bummie's hair "Maybe later we can talk more calmly"

"If I go to sleep, you'll leave me" he whimpered and tried to grab on to the doctor's coat to prevent him from leaving "Don't leave me, I don't want to be alone, don't leave me like they did, don't leave."

"I wont leave you, Bummie."

"I love you, Jong-Jong" the man whispered in a childish and soft voice, the same way a child professes his love to his mother "Jong-Jong loves me too? Jong-Jong promise to stay here with Bummie?"

Jonghyun Looked down to see his face... he realized that he couldnt say he didn't love the man... he would be like taking a child's heart and stepping on it.

He couldn't bring himself to destroy the image of a cute kid that Bummie projected, even as he was supposed to be aphatical and disconnected from his patients, he just couldn't bring himself to kill a part of the man like that.

"I love you, Bummie, Now how about you trie to go to sleep?" Jonghyun said, trying as hard as he could not to let Bummie know he was not as sincere as he sounded.

"Do you really love me?" Bummie asked hopefully at him

"I do"

"Will you say it again?"

"Why?"

"Nobody has ever told me they like me...it feels nice...will you say it again?"

"I love you, Bummie...very much"

A bright smile appeared on Bummie's face, causing a sinking feeling to appear in Jonghyun's stomach...

Bummie sincerely thought he loved him...some of that childish aspect of his personality wanted to believe every word that the he had told him, it was as though he had replaced his parents place on his heart just by saying those words...and the saddest part was that Jonghyun seriously wanted to love him.

He wanted to be able to give the man what he wanted, even if it was childish Bummie asking for his love, Kibum that was simply asking for his medical assistance, or Key, who was clearly asking for a punching bag.

Something about this beautiful man just made him want to give and give and give as though it would fix him.

When he finally looked down after the horrible realization, Kibum was asleep, breathing light and airy.

Jonghyun slipped his hand away from the brunette, taking a few steps back before turning on his heel and quietly leaving the room.

He wondered if Kibum would remember their conversation when he awoke.

He sincerely hoped he would...

And that thought was freaking him out.

-


	5. Chapter 5: got a feeling

-

Heal Me Sane: a feeling in my heart

-

Days turned into Weeks and them into months without anyone really noticing, it was March now, the 'Dixmor House for the Criminally Insane' was relatively quiet and quite uneventful this days.

Kibum still went through personality changes but they were less aggressive now, Jonghyun took notes and monitored every single thing that went and came from Kibum's mouth, Taemin still was a snarky bastard that made comments about screwing Key every day at breakfast and liked to get in trouble with Key as his partner in crime at noon. Yes, everything was fine and dandy these days.

But as we know, life is a moody thing, it changes so easy and likes to mess with us, and it was precisely march 18th when everything changed, possibly for better or for worse...

-

"Jong-Jong, tell me you love me " whispered Bummie, sitting up on his bed. It was no longer necessary to keep him restrained at every moment of the day; he was now falling into a pattern that allowed Jonghyun, as well as some of the other doctors who occasionally dealt with him, to figure out when his personalities would change...at least for the most part.

Key was usually out in the morning...mostly in presence of his 'friends' Taemin and Chansung (Jonghyun suspected them to probably be the cause of it) , Kibum usually showed himself for a short time during the afternoon...time Jonghyun came to visit him, and Bummie made his appearance every night.

It appeared that Bummie had come to grow used to Jonghyun telling him he loved him every night, usually multiple times as he fell asleep.

"I love Bummie"the doctor said, softly passing his fingers through soft brunette hair, enjoying the feeling of the boy's silky locks as well as his adorably innocent nature. As unprofessional as it was, Jonghyun was developing quite the fondness for the most childish of the three personalities. He knew he should stay detached, but he just couldn't tear himself away...every part of Kibum was a mystery to him, it was so enticing for a curious eager mind like Jonghyun's, he believed he had a chance to change Kibum, to fix him better... And on a colder level, Bummie trusted him so much, he could mold the man to whatever he wanted; all he had to do was get inside his mind...the feeling of power over another human being...

"Say it again..." the patient whispered, grabbing Jonhyun's hand and pressing it to his cheek, closing his eyes and sighing softly"Keep saying it...I wanna hear you say it..."

Jonghyun stared at him with fear on his eyes eve if he kept on smiling, he had to work faster, he didn't liked to be able to control Kibum through love...it was too cruel.

"Would you—"

Jonghyun almost considered asking the beautiful man more about his past, but he couldn't bring himself to destroy this peaceful moment, god knew Kibum needed peace on his life... and Key hadn't shown himself since the morning, and there was a great chance of Kibum fading back within the next few minutes.

"What? Dinno-Dinno-Doc" Bummie asked innocently, blinking and batting his thick eyelashes as he looked at the doctor, as a gag Bummie had named him Dinno-doc since he pretty much looked like one... Jonghyun had not liked it but played along and went running after him all over the common room while roaring.

"Nah, never mind...I love you, Bummie"  
>"you sure?" he asked, just like he did every night. "Then can I have a kiss to prove it? Pwease give me kiss, Jong-Jong..."<p>

The blonde doctor froze in place hesitating. Bummie had never asked him anything like this... it was usually just to repeat that he was loved and that he was sure, possibly to hold his hand...but never anything like giving him a kiss or touching him anywhere other than the cheek or hand.

"Please...chiu*?" he whimpered, squeezing Jonghyun's hand particularly hard. "C-can i please have a kiss? Just like the ones my mommy gave me...because I can't see her anymore, please...?"

In that moment, Jonghyun decided that even if he got fired for it, taking those red quivering lips and teary eyes away from Bummie were worth it. So he leaned over and pressed a light and chaste kiss to the corner of the brunette's pink lips, feeling the man gently squeeze his hand.

"Thank you, Jong-Jong" whispered Bummie, an innocent blush dusting his cheeks as he allowed Jonghyun to put the mild restraints he wore to sleep on him, brown eyes staying affixed on the doctor as he sat himself down on the only chair in the room. He watched as he pulled book from his bag, beginning to read after having his eyes traveling over Kibum's frame.

"Go to sleep, Bummie" he said softly

"Okay...can I hear it one more time, please?"

"I love you, Bummie..."

It took several minutes for kibum to get tired of staring but as soon as the man fell asleep, Jonghyun made his way down to the kitchens, he hadn't have time for dinner and was starving, he walked over the huge metal fridge and stopped checking his reflection in the silver surface. He slipped his shirt up slightly, looking at his flat and stomach, tracing his fingers over the softly rising-and-falling skin. He noticed a slight purple bump and pressed it a little, stopping when tears started pricking at the corner of his eyes as he felt pain rip through him.

Key...

The gorgeous man had caused the purple marks when he decided it would be fun to throw a chair at him...over and over again. Bummie passed the next weeks strapped to his bed, crying for jonghyun's help... but he never came, his colleague Doojoon, had him working on other patients and staying as far as possible from kibum.

Having lost his appetite he made his way back up to his room.

-

Taemin came from under the rusty bed of his room and walked to the largest of the four walls. He stared at the reflection the dirty mirror in front of him gave. Covered with pale green pants and shirt, a slim male with long hair that hid his eyes stood before him…

"You are so cute, Taeminnie"

he saw the young man in front of him move his lips and heard a voice talk to him on his head... but he knew better then to answer the tease.

"You looked for this, you know? Haha, you where so cute that not even the gentle man could resist the urge to corrupt you, you remember don't you, Taemin-ah?"

He stepped closer to the mirror until his forehead touched the cold surface.

"Shut up"

He drew his hand all the way to the bag of his green baggy pants and took the razor in his hand, it was of the kind people use to cut cardboard and he had stole it from one of the nurses when she was distracted taking care of Key's rampage.

The man in the mirror looked at him confused and in suspicion; He took off his shirt before holding out his left arm and placing it right on the other man's chest.  
>"I'm tired of you, I want you out" he lifted his right arm and furiously stabbed the flesh without tearing his gaze from the eyes of the other man, intense pain showing on his face.<p>

It wasn't until his clothes where covered on red liquid that he finally let himself go.

Yanking off his pants, he caressed the skin going up his inner thighs and moaned in delight.

".know"

He saw how the face of the man on the mirror contorted in agony as Taemin lowered the razor and began to erratically scratch lines at his flesh, making it bleed profusely.

He saw how the man screamed for help and smiled as he saw the man just couldn't take the pain anymore...

He felt happy for having hurt him... but it felt odd...

He started to feel pain, why was he in so much pain?

He stated to see everything fading and screamed, he was hurting too much; he saw Joon and other nurses run inside the room to help him...

What was going on?

-

"Jonghyun...could we go on a walk?" Kibum asked, brushing a few stray locks of hair out of his face as he readjusted his pale green shirt, desperately wishing for a shower.

It was always a bit humiliating to take a shower, He always had to be watched by somebody to make sure he didn't have some kind of psycho trip in the shower, or something like that...it was totally understandable...but terribly annoying.

"Yeah I guess..." murmured the blonde doctor as he reluctantly lifted himself off the chair he had been sitting on.

"It'll be just for a minute... please? I mean, why we even have a garden if we don't use it, right?" the brunette joked, bright brown eyes flashing to the clipboard on the blond man's hand.

"Could you leave the clipboard here?"

Blinking a few times, the doctor turned to him.

"Why?"

"I..." the brunette started, suddenly feeling like an idiot "It just makes me feel like a lab project, you know? Like...as if the only reason you're even talking to me is so you can study me like some sort of animal, and I just..."

Kibum stopped, realizing that he had probably spilled too much already. The doctor probably didn't even care what he felt, so the brunette suddenly shrugged through the silence of the room, the slight sound of the whispering fabric as the only sound besides their slight breathing.

"Never mind" he said, running his fingers through his hair. "I probably sound really stupid...whatever..."

"No, no! I get it" Jonghyun hurriedly went to the smiling nurse's desk and settled the clipboard down on it. Running back to Kibum, he placed his hands on the bags of his coat

"how bout we go for that walk around the garden. The fresh air is always invigorating, great for the health"

"Thanks..." mumbled Kibum, nervously pulling the hem of his pale green shirt down again. One of the things he hated most about this place, was all the pastel and clear colors, it was starting to get into his nerves. the patients, the doctors, the bed sheets even the bedroom walls!...even though the institution was meant to be calm, the old rock walls and musty dark carpets only made the white seem that much whiter.

The two made their way out of the common room in silence, the only sound being the creaking of the floor and the rustling of the fabric of their clothes as they walked towards the old stairs.

It took them a few minutes before they finally arrived at the front door of the asylum, the blonde doctor pulled a cute pink key-ring out of his jacket pocket, selected a single key and unlocked the door.

"Ahh..." the brunette sighed, voice filled with absolute joy."You got no idea how rare it is for me to go outside...I can't remember the last time I went to walk around without a straightjacket or a gun pointed to my head...it feels so good!"

"Im glad you are enjoying it" Jonghyun said softly as he watched the patient turn his face towards the wind, allowing the warm sun to douse his skin.

What kind of monster could dare to hurt someone so beautiful both on the inside and outside? The mere thought brought him disgust.

Kibum turned around, there was so much life on his eyes Jonghyun had never seen before, and the brunette actually had somewhat of a sincere smile on his face. It took a moment for the doctor to make the maths, but if Kibum had, in fact, been in asylums since he was seventeen, and he was now twenty...he had probably not stepped outside of his own free will in around 3 years.

The thought itself was so depressing that he froze in place, he could not imagine himself living a life like that, but as he noticed Kibum was smiling, waiting patiently for him a few steps down the sidewalk, he realized he should probably walk with his patient.

"I...I like you" the brunette man said nonchalantly, looking over at Jonghyun, noticing the doctor's handsome manly face and the hidden muscles of his arms, it was not as though he hadn't noticed earlier, but now that he had gotten to know the man a bit, he only seemed that much more appealing. Although it might seem a bit childish, Kibum felt like he had some of a crush on Jonghyun... no... More like puppy love. Though, it was probably more because Jonghyun was the only doctor who seemed to genuinely want to help him, the feelings where there, jonghyun was sweet, funny and kind and that only made Kibum's feelings intensify.

"Huh?" the doctor asked, jaw falling slightly, turning to the brunette.

"Y-You like me?"

"Yeah...I like you...not like, you know, LIKE like or anything like that" he half lied " I just like you...like, is more because you're the only doctor that's actually CARED before...you know?"

Jonghyun felt a tug, a strange ache on his heart as he heard the explanation behind it all.

"I'm sorry to hear that... but I think other doctors have also cared about you the same way I do...even if you haven't noticed"

"No, they never did. the only thing they wanted was their paycheck...it took them a whole year before the even bothered to diagnose me" the brunette said softly, tucking a long dark brown lock of his hair behind his ear, he would ask Jonghyun for a haircut once they got back inside, his once short boyish hair had grown almost to the top of his shoulders on the last months.

"I'm sorry, Kibum" Jonghyun said, turning towards the brunette man, an awkward silence following those few words. After turning back, averting his eyes down to the plain path the two were walking on, Jonghyun raised a hand and placed it on Kibum's neck, it had became a habit for him, he had somehow become addicted to the man's soft skin.

It was another few minutes after they were completely in the slightly dead grass of the garden until Kibum found it appropriate to speak up again.

"How old are you?" he asked as he looked at the doctor out of the corner of his eye. "You look way too young to be working here...have you been a doctor for a long time?"

"I'm twenty-one" he muttered reluctantly " started school early and believe it or not I was smart enough to skip some years, I just graduated actually, haha you my dear, are my first real patient" he smiled at him as he wiggled his eyebrows, successfully making Kibum laugh.

"haha, That's awesome, would have never guessed it, you don't look like the brightest crayon of the box" Kibum joked, obviously awed as he began to walk backwards so he could come into eye contact with Jonghyun.

"Yah, have some respect for your old, OLD hyung" Jonghyun messed up Kibum's hair

"So, I'm your first patient huh?"

"Yup, I usually just assisted other doctors with their patients and helped out where I could, you know, boring stuff" shrugged the doctor, blinking slightly, wondering why Kibum was so interested in him.

"Is it difficult? To deal with someone like me" he asked, his eyes wishing for the doctor to be sincere with his words.

"I admit, people like you are never easy... but I don't feel that way, you are fun to be around and can be REALLY cute at times" he smiled a toothy grin " I admire you actually, you have a strong personality and you really wish to change, is easier to work with somebody who wants to have help. Patients here can't realize there is something wrong with them"

Kibum blushed and smiled shyly, he placed a hand on his heart...he had an odd feeling...as if it had grown in size with joy. Determination on his eyes he grabbed the young doctor's hand on his own and continued walking as if he had not done anything, blatantly ignoring Jonghyun's surprised expression...

until he noticed something purple on Jonghyun's neck.

"...what happened to your neck? That's a really nasty bruise...come to think of it, that's been there for a few days" Kibum said, stopping in order to softly brush his fingers against it, causing Jonghyun to flinch slightly in pain.

"it's nothing" he said, realizing Kibum would surely not remember. He didn't want to bring up anything or cause any problems, so he reached up and attempted to button the top fastener on his pure white coat, but he was not able to reach it before his patient noticed something else...

The sleeve of his coat had slipped down, showing both fading and fresh bruised marks from where Key had grabbed him. Brown eyes traveled over them before the doctor even realized he had seen them, and it wasn't until Kibum grabbed on to his wrist softly did he realize they were visible.

"What are those?" he asked, tracing his fingers along the markings, looking at Jonghyun with eyes that were wide and worried.

"They are nothing, Kibum" Jonghyun said unintentionally cold, trying to pull away from the patient...  
>but the brunette man would not release him.<p>

"If you want me to trust you, you have to tell me the truth too!" protested Kibum, tugging his sleeve up further, seeing that the marks and scratches ran up and down his forearm, possibly even more skin that was being hidden as well.

"I'm just clumsy, ok? I was treating a violent patient and didn't notice when he started scratching me" he said, trying to calm his voice, tugging his arm away as Kibum loosened his grip.

"A patient did this?"

"a patient"

"Who?"

"Please dont pry into things that dont concern you, Kibum."  
>With that, the doctor walked a few steps back towards the building, signaling that it was time to go back inside. However, Kibum didn't move.<p>

His mind quickly flipping through his three personalities, trying to decide which would be the best to handle this situation better and analyzing the doctor's words...it was as though he couldn't decide, his brain had never been in a situation like this, it simply couldn't understand what it was supposed to do.

"something's wrong" Jonghyun whispered, his eyes widening as he saw Kibum was tugging on his hair, bent in half, his lips parted into an silent scream.

"J-JONG...JONGHYUN...!" the man cried out, his eyes closed as he dropped to his knees "H-Help...!"

The doctor ran over to the man, pushing his hair back from his face, noticing his voice was that of Bummie's... his face showing he was apparently trying to cope with something, and the blonde man regretted being so harsh.

"Bummie, calm down" he said, pulling the brunette into his arms, stroking his hair. "Bummie relax...you are going to hurt yourself if you don't stop!"

The brunette's breathing was erratic, and his body let out a few spasms before he finally relaxed slightly, nervously worming his way into Jonghyun's arms. The doctor could feel as a few tears began to stain his plain white shirt, the warm liquid soaking through the light material and wetting his skin.

"Jong-Jong...Jong-Jong..." he whispered desperately, clinging to the doctor, his hand searching for the other man's "Jong-Jong...can we please go back?"

"Yeah, let's go" the blonde man said softly, entwining his fingers with the brunette's. "come on...can you stand up?"

"I don't know" he whimpered reluctantly, squeezing on to Jonghyun's hand as he tried to steady his shaky legs and stand "Help me...I-It hurts...mnh..."

The doctor helped his patient up, softly brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face before standing on his tip-toes and pressing gentle kisses on his forehead.

Bummie blushed a bright red, holding out his hand and gesturing for the short man to hold it, which he quickly did. Bummie's personality that was the doctor's guilty pleasure was showing, and he wasn't going to let the opportunity go to waste...

Even when he knew it was wrong, and even if it was a doctor/patient relationship at an asylum, and practically made him a pedophile, because though Kibum had the body of a twenty year old, Bummie was probably as mentally developed as a kid...

That didn't mean he couldn't fool himself...

but thinking of it, then...

Who would be the one who deserved the most to be locked up in a mental hospital?

-


	6. Chapter 6: what to do?

"Jonghyun?" he muttered, voice quiet and filled with embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry for what I did to you...i can't remember how did I hurt you like that, but...i would never want to hurt you... I lo-"

"is fine, I know it was not intentional" jonghyun interrupted him, he knew what Kibum was going to say, he had noticed the signs...the secret looks... but he wasn't ready to do something about it.

"Hey, how about I go get a game-board and we play?"

Kibum noticed the lame change of topic, so Jonghyun, he could be so manly, warm and reliable...but sucked at trying to have conversations on his own feelings, he knew Kibum knew when he lied, it was so annoying, and they had been friends for months now! He really expected more trust from Jonghyun and it hurt him not to have it... but even so, Kibum liked to be around Jonghyun...he really liked Jonghyun.

"I pass, could I take a bath? I fell so dirty is disgusting" he whimpered helplessly, squirming on the bed, as if he was trying to rub any germs he might have off on to the sheets. "Would you take me to have a bath?"

The doctor nodded softly, gripping on to Kibum's hand to help him sit up and led him over to the bathroom of his own room, he did it quietly so no one heard them, The showers where closed at this hour anyway. They got to his room and went to the bathroom, Jonghyun turned on the light with a flick of his wrist. The florescent lightbulb flickered a few times before turning on completely, dousing the room with a dull yellow-white light.

"Thank you" Kibum whispered, watching as the doctor leaned over and turned on the faucet, pushing the plug into the drain and allowing the warm water to gush into his bathtub.

"You know? I've really wanted a bath...but I don't like how the doctors have to watch me while I'm naked."

As he spoke those last two words, a small blush overcame his face, and jonghyun stood up and turned to look at him deep in thought.

"Want bubbles in your bath?" he asked his voice soft as he pushed a lock of the brunette's hair out of his patient's face.

"Bubbles?" the brunette repeated excitedly, his eyes lightening up at the notion. "That would be so cool!"

The doctor smiled at his patient's childish behavior, the therapies had been working wonders recently. After having failed with pushing his memory, they tried the integration of the personalities into one. Kibum's changes have calmed down and he was 'Kibum' most of the time, and even if he missed Bummie sometimes... he really liked Kibum's normal personality, he was fun to be around, he still was serious but now he was cute as Bummie with something of a diva-like demeanor.

Jonghyun grabbed a bottle of shampoo from the edge of the tub and unscrewed the cap, pouring some of the grape-smelling substance straight into the water running from the faucet, causing a few bubbles to form immediately.

"Woah, that's awesome, who'd know you knew how to do this kind of thing" he giggled, leaning over and sticking his hand in the water, withdrawing it when it scalded his skin. "It's hot!"

"No shit, Sherlock! I just opened the hot water... take off your clothes, it will get warm soon and then maybe you can get into the tub " the doctor suggested, rinsing his hand off, watching as Kibum pouted and nodded as he began to struggle to get his shirt off.

Jonghyun was only 'helping' when he took a step forward and assisted the brunette man in sliding off the cotton material over his head, fingers softly and almost unintentionally brushing his light pink nipples. The smallest of mewls escaped Kibum's lips, but he quickly clamped them shut a second later, slipping his fingers down the waistband of his pants and sliding the pale-green sweats down.

Jonghyun's eyes couldn't help but flicker to his manhood underneath the pair of plain white boxer-briefs that graced Kbum's hips and thighs, and the doctor felt a particularly strong urge of lust course through his veins as the innocent brunette slipped them off.

"Is it still hot?" the brunette asked nervously, eyeing the water as though it would jump out and eat him if he wasn't careful.

"Nope" Jonghyun woke up from his daze and assured him, tracing his fingertips along the surface of the hidden-by-bubbles liquid. "I promise, is safe"

"Okay" Kibum replied suspicious of him, stepping into the tub, hissing slightly as he eased himself into the water that was just a bit too warm.

"are you okay?" the doctor asked calmly, softly rubbing Kibum's cheek with the pad of his thumb, helping him adjust by softly splashing his hickey-adorned chest with some of the warm water.

"I-I'm fine..." he whispered, grabbing the shampoo off of a nearby shelf, handing it to Jonghyun expectantly. The blonde man didn't know what to do at first, but then he realized that the brunette must want him to wash his hair for him.

"Want me to wash your hair?" Jonghyun asked, receiving a nod in response.

"Yeah" Bummie said, looking up at Jonghyun with a blush on his face as he dunked his head under the water, coming back up with a gasp and wet hair. "Ok, go"

Nodding, the blonde man began to wash Kibum's silken locks, savoring the feeling of the soft strands in between his fingers. His guilt began to ebb away as his dark brown eyes watched exactly how the brunette began to play with the bubbles he had made, cupping them in his hands and watching as they popped, one by one, his brow furrowing as there were suddenly no more left.

"Your hair is really soft" said Jonghyun, carefully beginning to rinse it, trying excruciatingly hard to avoid getting soap or shampoo in his small brown eyes.

"Thank you" the brunette responded appropriately, feeling soap and warm, water work its way down his back."Would you wash my back too, Jonghyun?"

...seriously? Didn't kibum know what he was doing to him?...

"s-sure" the doctor said, grabbing the soap and squirting some into his hands, handing the bottle of scented body wash to the brunette a moment later.

"Can you wash the rest yourself?"

Nodding, Kibum squirted some of the soap into his hand as well, beginning to work it over his body.

As Jonghyun ran his hands back and forth over the brunette's back, he almost considered venturing just a little bit lower, of just forward a little bit... just a little feel of that sweet apple butt the other man sported...however, he refused to let his hands become perverted, and he just shook his head and continued to innocently scrub his patient.

After a few more minutes, Kibum was satisfied with the clean scent of his body, and he nodded to let Jonghyun know that he could help rinse him now. As much as the doctor didn't want to stop, he did, splashing the water that had turned lukewarm over the process of Kibum's washing. He observed as it dripped down his patient's soft skin, leaving glistening trails of the shiny water and the few remnants of the soapy bubbles.

"Can I have a towel?" Kibum asked, shivering slightly, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, the air in the bathroom seeming exceedingly cold now that the doctor's warm touch was gone.

"Sure" he repeated, grabbing a not-so-long fluffy blue towel out of the nearby cabinet, allowing Kibum to step out of the tub and into the towel.

"I'll dry myself!" he said, walking back out into the bedroom part of the room, still dripping wet. Jonghyun could only watch how the towel barely covered above the top of his legs; he saw how the water droplets slowly rolled down that sexy body, hitting the carpet, leaving small wet spots that erratically stained the clean carpet.

"I'll go get you some clothes, ok?"

"Yeah"

The doctor made his way over to the small wooden dresser in the corner of the room, sliding open the second drawer and grabbing some clean underwear and socks, shutting that drawer and opening the first one afterwards, grabbing a red shirt, shutting that drawer and opening the third, grabbing a pair of the plain black pants and then setting the outfit down on the bed. His dark brown eyes followed Kibum's every movement as the brunette began to dry himself, biting his lip in concentration.

After he made sure he was suitably dry, he turned to Jonghyun, seeing that the doctor was gesturing to his bed. After seeing his clothes rested there, he nodded happily, going to get changed.

Clumsily pulling Jonghyun's underwear on was as far as he could get, the shirt had two buttons on the neck... it had been so long since he last wore something else than the green outfit... he had forgot how to button a shirt, the brunette quickly turned to Jonghyun for assistance, the blonde doctor was only too happy to help him dress.

"Need help?" he asked voice soft as he walked over to his patient, unfolding his pants for him. "Let me help you get this on."

A slight blush dusted Bummie's cheeks, he needed help on his shirt...but the pants also had a buton so he just nodded, brown hair whipping about his face. "Sorry for the trouble"

"No problem, Kibum" he said soothingly, sliding the brunette into his pants, making sure the top of it rested perfectly at his hips. "Don't be afraid to ask me for anything. I'll always be there for you."

"Could you say it again?" the brunette asked, voice childishly demanding.

Jonghyun sighed watching how kibum was no longer with him

"hey again Bummie, tell you what?"

"You know! That thing...the one you always tell me!"

"I love you, Bummie" the doctor whispered, slipping on his already red shirt over his patient's head, he raked his thin, tanned fingers through Bummie's hair as a makeshift comb. However, as he saw that Bummie getting goosebumps on his arms, his eyes roamed the brunette's face with concern.

"Want a long sleeved shirt?"

"can i?"

"Of course! Take that shirt off"

After watching his patient wriggle out of his shirt, jonghyun walked back over to the dresser and slid open the first drawer, looking for a long-sleeved shirt, he spotted something pink and pulled it out...it was a pale pink long sleeved shirt...the culprit? His friend Jo Kwon. He had decided pink was the best gift for his last birthday, not caring if the shirt was too small to fit Jonghyun.

The pink cotton was tight and form-fitting compared to the plain green shirt patients wore. It was between homicidal thoughts about Jo kwon that an idea crossed his mind.

He made his way back over to Bummie, having his fingertips gently graze his rising-and-falling stomach as he ran his hands up the brunette's arms and held them up so he could allow him to help him slip into his shirt.

"J-Jong...your fingers are cold..." the brunette whispered, feeling them through the material of the shirt, even as the doctor pulled it down and watched it cling to his frame.

"I'll warm them up later" he joked, helping the brunette man into bed. "Now, let's go back to your room and get you to sleep for tonight, ok?"

"Okay" the brunette yawned, his slightly wet, brown hair dampening the pillow quickly. "...could you say it one more time?"

"I love you Bummie" Jonghyun strapped him to the bed and started walking to the door "G-night" he closed the door after him.

However, he didn't noticed the sad look on the brunette's face, he knew this was the only way of Jonghyun telling him those words...he had faked being Bummie once before and never tried it again once Jonghyun had said Bummie's name... those word weren't meant for him.

"I love you too, Jonghyun...should I disappear so you can be happy with Bummie?"

He knew it was stupid...

He felt jealousy of the other persona.

But...If only Bummie could hear those words from the doctor...

Didnt that mean Jonghyun liked Bummie better than Kibum?


	7. Chapter 7: i'll miss you

Heal Me Sane: i'll miss you [R]

After a lot of efforts from Jonghyun, Bummie was finally growing to trust him more and more each passing day, enjoying the rare times when he would receive a kiss from the doctor.

Taemin, even if in fact he had not tried to harm himself again, his doctors decided mostly unanimously, that they could not leave him alone.

After being released from the confinement he tried to get to Kibum again, but was always stopped by Joon and doojoon.

"Kibum?" the doctor asked, opening his patient's bedroom door, knocking on the doorframe in order to appear polite "May I come in?"

"Sure" said the brunette, a welcoming tone in his voice.

He was sitting up in bed, none of his normal restraints on. He had earned the right to be in his room without them, at least in the afternoon, he still had to sleep strapped to the bed.

"How are you doing?" asked jonghyun, walking over to the other man, clipboard in hand.

"I'm pretty good" he replied, managing a dull smile. " been better, but...you know. What can be done?"

"Yeah, I...think is time to start therapy session"

jonghyun said cautiously. "It will be all talking, so you don't have to worry about anything...unlike most institutions, we dont practice shock therapy. Lobotomies are ridiculous and outdated...the most we can do is give medications and attempt to figure out what would help you more by talking."

"..."

"Well, tell me, do you remember? When did this started? What happened?"

-0-

"daddy, no!" the brunette kid screeched, flailing desperately, trying to escape as though his life depended on it...which, pretty much did.

"You should have just listened when we told you, kibum"

his dad said calmly, a sick smile twisting his face as he began to rub a shining silver knife with a sanitizing cloth. "Please, stop squirming so much. You don't want to distract daddy from his work, do you? I may end up missing and stabbing his eye out instead."

"T-This is wrong!" a young red haired man screamed, crying as he was strapped to the large chair in the room. "You can't do this! dad! Stop, please!"

"oh, you should stop whining, Hong-ki, it will all be over soon" the man said, now gently testing the sharpness of the knife with the very tip of his finger, hissing slightly as he felt how sharp it was. "You are pretty, Hong-ki...such a waste. You'll feel much better after this. Maybe then you will obey, just as daddy told you. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"No, please, God, no! Dad, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he cried, feeling his neck being strapped into place. "I-I'm your son! This is inhumane! It's wrong! You can't do this to me! I have my whole life to live—"

"You don't have a life, Hong-ki. You don't have a future, not now that you are dirty. You aren't intelligent nor have talent for nothing, you are just pretty...and now you are dirty. You just took space and time from your mother and I... there's no hope for a kid like you, not anymore.

You let him touch you with those filthy hands of his" he said with disgust as he gently ran his finger over the side of his son's cheek "You're going to spend your entire life just rotting away in some corner of some dark room, with nobody to care about you. "

"daddy, please forgive hong-ki, he didn't mean it, right hyung?" worriedly looking at his crying older brother, who was still struggling against his restraints and praying to whatever God was there to save him.

"Now, Bummie, I think you're forgetting something" said his dad, setting down the knife to turn and look at the brunette kid, setting a hand on his tight. "Bummie...Hong-ki is a bad son, he is not pure anymore, daddy must punish him for it. It may not look so bad, but what he did was seriously, seriously wrong. Daddy, will help him. Don't worry. I'm sure that he'll be fine"

"Please..." hong-ki pleaded desperately, brown eyes looking right at Kibum's eyes, silently begging him do something. "Please...Kibum-ah"

"Quiet"

There was silence as his father grabbed the knife once again, everything went dead silent, spare kibum's broken sobs and Hong-ki's whispered prayers. Their dad took a few more steps, ignoring the red head as he yanked on his restraints, letting out a pitiful cry as his dad stopped right in front of him. His right eyelid was lifted, the cold, unfeeling knife slid underneath the thin flesh, going right over his eyeball. It hurt like hell, he screamed his lungs out.

Kibum, eyes closed tight, daren't make a sound, for he was petrified to his chair, fear for his own brother. He could hear the sound of the knife slipping and stabbing flesh.

"Please no...daddy, please...please..." he whispered, his hands clenching into fists as he opened his eyes just to see his dad pulling his fist back, preparing to slam the tool back into the corpse of his dead brother's eye socket, stabbing a hole through the muscle that was the only wall left to get to his brain.

His dad stopped, smilling over the dead body of his brother, he turned his head back to kibum. "Bummie, you have been a bad kid too, mommy told me you came home late yesterday"

"i-im sorry, daddy!" kibum cried, tears pooling over his cheeks.

"bad kids, need to be punished-" he saw between tears how his dad walked to him, approaching slowly, the blood dripping knife looking down.

"Stop freeze!" somebody shouted, interrupting the silence of the flickering fluorescent lightbulb that hung in the middle of the dim room. As kibum slowly turned his eyes over to the door, he saw that there were police officers at the doorway, each of them having a handgun pointing at his father. His face twisted into a grimace as he threatened to shove the knife in Kibum's soft skin, the agents quickly flipping the safety off of their guns.

"drop the weapon!" an officer barked, his finger tightening around the trigger as he looked at the unfolding scene, seeing kibum's absolute terror. "Now!"  
>slowly, the man retired the metal tool from his son's face, dropping it on to the floor and holding his hands up in the air.<p>

"Don't shoot" he drawled, looking at them with the most evil glare he could manage. "I surrendered, so you can't shoot."

"kim Jung-Hee, you're under arrest for home violence and the murder of Lee Hong-ki!" the man said, taking a few steps forward, completely bypassing the shocked nurses and assistants to get to the doctor. "You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in the court law."

After they led his father out of the room, kibum began to sob, tugging at his restraints helplessly.

"P-please help me!" he whimpered, now that he realized it was safe to show fear. "Please, please, please let me out! I-I...I want to go, don't let daddy hurt me, please don't let him do it!"

"It's okay, son" another policeman said, beginning to undo the straps that held the young 10 year old Kibum to the chair. "It will all be okay, now. Your mom is very worried about you, we¡ll take you with her"

- 0 -

"kibum! kibum, please, say something!"

"kibum! kibum, please, say something or I will be forced to inject—"

"W-what...?" he muttered, his head and body throbbing beyond belief, and he could feel that he was bleeding out of a few different places. "Where...what happened? jonghyun?"

"Thank goodness" the doctor said, dropping his arm, which was apparently ready to inject a syringe filled with clear liquid into his arm. "I think you had some sort of seizure...you were screaming for your father to stop hurting your brother, what where you remembering?"

"I...nothing..." he said, voice shaking with the memories that had suddenly come flooding back to him. "I had...forgotten about it, until now..."

"What do you mean?"

"The police took my dad, but he came back just a month later…he had important friends" said kibum, shrugging his shoulders weakly, his breath still irregular. "he used to hit Hong-ki a lot cuz he wasn't his son, one of the neighbors heard the screams and called the police... mom was outside crying but didn't came to help hyung…"

"It is okay, kibum. He cant reach you here" the doctor said, sympathy and a small bit of anger in his voice. "I cant believe that a father would ever consider such an inhumane thing to do, and to his own son! Is despicable."

"Jong-Jong" bummie whimpered, grabbing on to the doctor's arm, pulling him closer to the bed.

"Jong-Jong, he said I was a bad person. Do you he was right, Jong-Jong? They said that nobody would ever love me...do you hate me, Jong-Jong?"

"I love you, Bummie...I dont neither think nor care of what a person like your father could think..." whispered the blonde man, moving to sit on the bed, beginning to softly stroke his patient's hair.

"Will Jong-Jong help me get better?" asked the brunette, batting his dark brown eyes, his ebony black eyelashes caressing his cheeks.

"Of...course..." he whispered, leaning over and pressing a kiss to bummie's lips, going to pull away but being stopped by the man.

"Longer" bummie said, both a request and a demand. "I...I want it..."

The blonde doctor complied, guilt consuming his every being as he leaned over and pressed their lips together once again, the feeling of bummie's warm, moist flesh against his own too perfect to resist. Gently darting his tongue out of his mouth, he traced along bummie's lower lip, causing the brunette to gasp slightly and open his mouth, allowing jonghyun access to the hot orifice.

Slowly, he began to slip his tongue inside the brunette's mouth, nibbling on the soft skin of his lower lip, rubbing the very tip of his tongue against bummie's own.

"N-NnmmnnN..." the brunette whimpered, his arms wrapping around the doctor's neck, pulling him closer so their bodies were touching.

even though jonghyun knew how wrong this was, the short man just couldn't seem to stop, tilting his head slightly to allow himself better access.

"B-Bummie, I...I can't..." he muttered reluctantly, trying to pull away once again, but being pulled closer. "you got no idea what you are doing, I—"

"Would it make it any easier if I were Kibum?" the brunette asked, his voice losing its childlike innocence it held in his moans moments ago. "I know exactly what I'm doing...I've liked you for a while, now...you're the first person that's ever cared about me."

By bringing their lips together once again, silenced any immediate complaints that the doctor had, giving up, Jonghyun finally began to take his role as the dominant, refusing to just lie down and let the other man take control. After pulling him down on to the bed, the blonde straddled him, knowing that the door had to be locked; ever since the taemin incident. jonghyun had the obsessive-compulsive habit of locking kibum's door every time he came into his bedroom.

This time however, was good...at the moment, jonghyun knew that even if he didn't know the door was locked for sure, he probably wouldn't have gotten up to check and see if it was.

"w-wait, J-Jonghyun, stop." breathed the patient, brown eyes following the movement of the blonde's hands flawlessly, watching as he began to unbutton his pure white lab coat. "i-I know you like him better...please, stop"

"I won't" interrupted jonghyun, fingers teasing the soft skin that was peeking out of the bottom of the patient's shirt, loving the sensation of the creamy, pale skin underneath his fingertips. "I love YOU, Kibum. I love it all of you, Bummie or Key...are just parts of you."

"y-you are not serious—a-aah…"

The patient was interrupted by the feeling of Jonghyun's lips against his jaw, expertly nibbling and kissing the skin there. His hands slipped up the pale green shirt Kibum had and the blonde couldn't help but worry... he could feel the brunette man's ribs perfectly, as if there were only the thinnest of layers of skin covering them, had he been eating less? However, he was quickly distracted as he felt fingers entangle in his hair, softly tugging on his hair and guiding his lips back up to meet the doctor's own.

"M-MmnhhHN…"

They both knew how wrong it was as Kibum wrapped his legs around his doctor's torso, bringing them even closer than before, even if it was just this time…he would pretend Jonghyun liked him better than Bummie.

the blonde continuing to hungrily work their lips together. As the other man ran his hands up the his shirt, urging it off, he did the same to him, and within seconds they were both shirtless. Torsos exposed to each other, Jonghyun quickly brought his lips to kibum's pert nipples, taking one into his mouth and beginning to tease it with his warm tongue. kibum's lips parted in a moan, letting the flawlessly sweet sound slip past his lips, only encouraging jonghyun as he began to lightly suck.

"M-M...mnah-..."

Working his way down the patient's torso, Jonghyun arrived at the waistband of his pale green slacks. They looked like women's, but Jonghyun didn't say a thing, he liked how they accented his lean legs perfectly. The blonde's hands slipped the material down around his ankles. His hands were shaking ever-so-slightly, not enough for Kibum to notice, but enough to give him chills as he removed the brunette's plain white underwear, leaving him completely naked on the bed beneath him.

"t-take your clothes off" he whispered slowly, sitting up just enough to help the blonde slip his pants and underwear off as well, his manhood giving a slight pulse at the sight of the naked blonde. His body was perfect...

every muscle was slightly toned and defined he wanted to taste that marvelous sun-kissed skin, he wondered how good would it taste on his tongue. He pressed a kiss to the soft skin of Jonghyun's collarbone, he tasted even better.

As the blonde pushed him back down on to the bed, bringing their lips together once again, his hands exploring his chest and torso, Kibum ensnared his fingers on Jonghyun's hair once again, softly tugging on it every once and a while.

"J-Jong..." he softly groaned, pressing one side of his face against the pillow, a thin coat of sweat dampening his forehead, causing his bangs to stick to the skin there. "S-stop teasing..."

excited, Jonghyun reached a hand in between the two of them, feeling kibum's erection digging into the soft flesh of his leg. His hand wrapped around the brunette's manhood, instinctively beginning to pump it, softly at first, his ears graced by the sound of Kibum's weak moans.

As he began to roughly speed up, Kibum's sweet moans turned to harsh, ragged pants, whimpers surrounding every breath.

"J-Jonghyun-ah!"

Jonghyun's own erection was now throbbing desperately, encouraged by Kibum's moans and expressions, his face contorted sweetly, small beads of glistening sweat working their way down his cheeks.

"J-Jong, please" he cried, opening his eyes just enough to look at the blonde. "I-Inside! I want you inside!"

Led by instinct, the blonde grabbed on to his own erection, the hand he was handling Kibum with slowing down and causing his whines to slip back to soft moans. After coating his fingertips with the precum leaking from his slit, he ran them up and down his throbbing length, getting it appropriately slickened before pressing the tip against the other's tight entrance.

"aahhh...ah—!"

Pushing past the contracting muscles, Jonghyun was hit by a wave of pleasure as he was enveloped by the brunette man's tight passage, both of them letting out similar groans. kibum didn't even have time to think about what a sick hypocrite he was before the blonde was moving, hitting his sweet spot, causing sparks of ecstasy to shoot up his spine, whimpers and moans to claw themselves out of his throat.

"There!" he cried, lips remaining parted to continue and let out noises of pleasure. "J-Jonghyun-ahhh! Oh-My-g-god-mmn-ah!"

"H—ahh...ah"

The only sounds in the room were the moans of the two men, doctor and patient, both wondering... if this was so wrong, why did it feel so good?

Nobody in the large, old building noticed nor cared that they had not seen either man for a while now, and nobody happened to walk past the room and hear the moans and pants of pleasure, the rattling of the headboard of the bed against the wall, the scraping of the feet against the cold marble floor, or the clinking of chains and straps as they rocked back and forth with the furniture.

"M-Mnnn, J-Jong-Jonghyun!" moaned the brunette man, his nails raking strawberry-red trails down the blonde's back, a few of them dripping the smallest droplets of blood. "I-I'm going t-to c-cum!"

The blonde didn't even have time to reply before he exploded his cum into Kibum's entrance, drenching the hot walls of the brunette man's insides. The burning, scorching liquid was what drove Kibum over the edge, releasing it a moment afterwards, spurting his cum all over both their chests, the sticky white liquid dripping down their skin.

"Bummie..." the blonde whispered helplessly, pulling out of his patient and falling on to the bed next to him, breathing harsh and ragged.

"Jong-Jong ...w-will you stay with me tonight?"

"S-sure, Bummie" whispered Jonghyun, turning on his side, wrapping his arms protectively around the brunette. Hoping Kibum hasn't heard him call his other personality's name.

"I'll stay... go to sleep, I won't leave..."

"I love you, Jong-Jong"

"I love you too, bummie..." he said as he fell asleep

"thanks for this, I'll miss you...I-I really will" he whispered while crying, hiding his face on his shoulder, his voice filled with pain, hands gripping at the doctor's sun-kissed skin, trying to grab a firm hold on him.


End file.
